KtronTheLordofTime

Hi,
I’m ktron from ktron’s universe and, I feel like I haven’t been honest with you

To the small number of subscribers that I have, I feel like I’ve been closed off from the world

I know what that sounds like, but let me explain…


The real me is shy, socially awkward and thinks of himself as the third wheel to every conversation that he has. Even if someone is talking to him.

I’m also dyslexic and have trouble with my grammar in my speech as well as my writing. Also, I can’t spell at all and I can’t read my own hand handwriting, which is why I hat scrips but I’m doing it for this so it can help me get across my message.

But above everything, I have been suffering from depression.

Even though people may say differently, I’ve been suffering (well I would say that because it feels more like exasperating it) from it for years. I can’t remember a time where I have felt different.


By that comment, you will be thinking;
Well, if that’s true. Then why don’t you sound depressed?

Well that’s because I’m using one of my many, ‘Many’ masks that I have made over the years. It has come to a point where I can change my personality at will depending on the situation. The one mask that I don’t need a mask for, is for Fear, because fear is a human resonance and is really hard to face.

But if a murderer, wear to enter my house and see me as their next victim. I would welcome it. For two reasons;
It would confuse the murderer and they wouldn’t find the satisfaction in killing me and leave me alone, hopefully not too damaged (See that’s strategy)
Is that I feel so insignificant (dam that a hard word to spell) that I feel like the only person that would miss me is, me.

Some of you watching this will think;
What about your family?
And others will be thinking: ‘What are with these predictions?’

Well, being the third wheel for so long allowed me to pick up human behaviours and thought patens from saying certain to doing a certain action. Depending on their base personality (or stereotype) it would come to a different response. This would also change is the person knows you or not…

Sorry, I’m rambling.
And for the other question… I don’t know what love is.

Really, I’ve losses the meaning of family love and what it means to love.

This is one of the reasons that I am depressed. I want to find that love I once had with my family and find love, from someone that can return it. But like most people I fear rejection. So, for a short time I expressed my love with worm greetings, smiles and jokes. But when no one knowist, I tried with my friends to find any type of love even if it was small or was in a conversation. I cherished it and made it so that I would never forget that person and that are friendship would last for years.

Another reason that I’m depressed is because I’m not getting any income, and on top of that not getting a job.

My parents have been pushing me to get a job more now than ever, but what employers are looking for I don’t have.

Lest go down the list;
Communication
Socially awkward
Great people skills
I can’t hold a conversation and I shy away from strangers
Have experience
Ha, the only experiences that I have is in Photoshop and Digital Art and I feel like that’s even small.

What I mean by that is, that I feel like my art can be so much more but I don’t have the motivation or feel like I have the skill to do so. And with the small, dwindling amount of money that I do have I’m not going to be able to support myself with my art and I don’t want to rely on my parents forever…

It’s thoughts and fears like this that make me depress and why I don’t care about what I wear or how I look or even go outside. It because I have given up on what people think off me.

I just want to be remembered.

I just want to be knowest…

I just…

First let me explain,

Over the two weeks of school between terms, I have been assigned by my multimedia teacher to find and write / do a 5 min video about an issue on a topic.
Most people are doing gaming, so that was thrown out the window and my teacher wonted me to do something different as no one has done one for DeviantART yet so that would make me the first.

So let me explain what is going to happen. I need to interact with the choice of media (aka this site) and explore the issue. I could have done something simple being 'Effect on grammar skills' but I thought the Cyberbullying would be more sooted as I haven't been Cyberbullied but have been bullied in a way.

Now it's up to you.
Leave links leading to people being or have been bullied on DeviantART and put it in the comments below.
If you want to put your own story in the comments, then fell free to do so as I and no one else will shame you or other wise the comment would be blocked.
(You don't have to as I'm also looking around for things like this)

So thank you for your time.

    At times I feel like Jim Harkens from Treasure Plaint.

    I can never get things right from spelling and structure, to deck building and balance for a video game character, until I had a talking to my metalwork teacher.

    The conversion reminded me of the heart to heart Silver had with Jim. The one with, “You got the making of greatness in yea.”

    It reminded me that takes to long to do anything, and I hate to slow down because I hate practicing. I can only do things to the best of my ability and on one can teach someone how to do better.

    It’s had to tack stuff in and use it, because I can’t learn like how to drive a car for example with out diving a car. But it’s illegal to drive a car with out tacking a test first.

    See what I’m getting at.

    It’s the same with exams and essays. I can’t structure it with out messing it up. I know what I’m talking about but it’s not clear. It’s clear to me but not to others. It’s just frustrating to change the way I am, just so that people can understand what I’m saying.

     

    P.S. ~ Using spell check.

It's nice to see so many people going over my DeviantArt and Youtube channel.

It's great that you, view this, os tacking the time to read this and having nothing bad to say (or netting at all, but it ok that you don't have to comment on everything).

My pic are improving, and it's thanks to everyone how has sent me a request of some sorts.
So thanks!

If any one wants something dune and can't do it themselves (as long it has something to do with drawing) then I would be happy to help out.

Hi,

I started this page to show you my drawings on this page.

I tack request.
Rules:

Rule 1:
For this to work, the submitter (you) can either draw me a sketch or send a massage saying what the submitter (still you) would wont to look like in a fantasy world.

Rule 2:
The submitted drawing must be Pokemon, Sonic (can be fan characters), and fantasy characters. It can't be anything that can't be seen by an younger vower.

Rule 3:
The drawing or description that you give me is equal to the amount of detail that I can put on the drawing.
For example, you draw the best drawing ever and did it in black and white. I would either do it in black and white or add colour it to what I see fit.